A newly married couple asked: “What
shall we do to make our love endure?”
Said the Master: “Love other things together”.
(One Minute Wisdom by A. de Mello)
I remember learning years ago, expressed
in the typical abstract way of the time, that love is, of necessity,
universal. Put more
simply, “you can’t love anyone, unless you love everyone.”
The old adage “charity begins at home” is too often
quoted without the phrase that follows it… “but doesn’t
end there!”
A little reflection on experience can bring home the truth of
all this. Nothing destroys a relationship as thoroughly as possessiveness.
The possessive spirit seeks to own the other person, and no one
wants to be owned! The possessive person sees himself/herself
as loving deeply, but the only one he is loving is himself. Meanwhile
his partner grows in frustration as precious freedom is curbed,
and can only respond in anger or hate whether outwardly or within.
On the other hand, love extensively and the heart expands. The
experience of life grows fuller and more varied. One becomes
enriched with a serenity, understanding and compassion towards
everybody that grows ever deeper. Love is that mysterious commodity
that defies all laws of physics and economics: the more you give
away the more you have. Squander yourself in love and you will
become more whole, more faithful and more abundant in what you
have to give. But the main beneficiary of your abundance will
be yourself.
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