Why on earth do so many people find it so
hard to simply say "I'm sorry"? There is no better
way for healing wounds, mending broken friendships, restoring
peace, and, ironically, showing real strength and winning respect
and admiration. And still we go on failing to appreciate the
power of apologising! Instead we speak of not wanting to "lose
face" or "back down", as if either phrase encompassed
a worthwhile value.
Why, again, are there parents and teachers,
employers and leaders, who continue to view an apology to a
child or to someone in a
so-called lesser position as an indication of weakness, when
the very opposite is the truth? Being at times wrong is not the
preserve of anyone but the experience of everyone. To all of
us, children or adults, people soar in our esteem when we find
them big enough to say "I'm sorry".
In our differences with one another, and even when we remain
convinced that the fault lies on the other side, there is still
always some element for which we ought to apologise, be it nothing
more than a show of slight impatience. To be first to apologise
for our failure, however small, will often free the other person
to admit their wrong; and that is something no pointing of the
finger is ever likely to elicit.
It is supremely liberating for us to know our own fallibility.
In his book, Wellsprings, Tony de Mello writes:
“I think of myself as quite a decent
person, good-hearted and respected, with minor sins and failings,
until it dawns on
me that the greatest sinners are the ones who sin in ignorance.
I see the well-intentioned damage "love" inflicts on
helpless children. . . .
I see the marks of cruelty in fervently religious people. . .
.
I see fair-minded Pharisees assess the evidence against Jesus,
And consider it their duty to do away with him. . . .
It frightens me that I may be suffering from the sickness of
the chief priests and Pharisees:
They were so certain of themselves, so convinced that they were
right,
So closed to other viewpoints and to change. . . .
I think of persons whom I know to be like that. . . .
And then I think of me.” . . .
Suddenly it becomes easier to say "I'm sorry"!
|