It's a beautiful word, "welcome"! We constantly welcome
one another to our home or to a meeting, aboard a plane or to
Sunday Mass. Nowadays, "you're welcome" has become
the routine acknowledgement of the frequent "thank yous" that
are scattered through our day. Sometimes our word of welcome
is underlined by a smile, a hug or a handshake. Sometimes, however,
it is merely ritual, a very common courtesy! Yes, "welcome" is
a lovely word, but the frequency with which we use it or hear
it may very well demean it.
A real welcome goes much deeper than
the uttering of the word. Indeed the word may not be spoken
at all. A welcome becomes real
when warmth and sensitivity and empathy are present in the one
who welcomes, and this evokes reassurance and a reciprocated
warmth in the one who is welcomed. To experience a true welcome
makes one feel "at home"!
To help a person feel "at home" can make demands on
the "welcomer"; demands, such as on- going attention
and commitment to the very "task" of welcoming. Moving
neighbourhood or changing school is not easy; nor is starting
a new job or joining a choir or a club. Almost always, established
groups are positive both in attitude and intention. Initially,
words and smiles of welcome flow to the hesitant newcomer. But
the need for follow-through over time until the "novice" becomes
integrated into the group may not be appreciated. Truly, the
new member or new entrant has been welcomed, but hasn't managed
to feel welcome. The "mortality rate" of aspirants
to long established bodies tends to be high.
"Making welcome" can be a far longer process than
most people realise. Surrounded by those who know one another
well, are comfortable and relaxed in each other's company, newcomers
may fail to be "drawn in", remain perched on the periphery,
and the effort to hang on can prove just too much. They leave,
much to the dismay and genuine disappointment of the group.
A great esprit de corps characterises
most groups who meet regularly in a common cause. Chat and
banter and a sense of "happy
together" is the order of the day. Members also socialise
outside the group activities, form strong friendships and find
fulfilment in their common enterprise. Integration into such
a group takes time and attention. Patience may be needed; and
understanding and effort on both sides. But once the transition
is made, everybody gains, the morale of the group is strengthened
and the enterprise enhanced. Welcome, warm and enduring, is the
key!
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